Late Night Diner Runs

I found my playwriting final the other day so I decided to post it. FYI: it’s twelve pages double-spaced, but it’s a quick and (hopefully) enjoyable read.

 

Late Night Diner Runs

MARK: 25 years old, best friends with Jerry.

JERRY: 25 years old, best friends with Mark.

WAITRESS: 40 years old.

Setting: MARK and JERRY are eating at a local diner after a night of drinking.

(MARK ends his phone conversation and attempts to leave.)

JERRY

Who was that?

MARK

What do you mean?

JERRY

On the phone, asshole. Who was on the phone?

MARK

No one. (beat) I got to go.

JERRY

Where are you going? We just got here!

MARK

Does it matter?

JERRY

Um, kind of. You said we’d get something to eat. That usually means you’re staying for more than a couple minutes.

(MARK gets up to leave)

Wait! (beat) You’re seeing her again, aren’t you?

MARK

No!

JERRY

Why are you seeing her? I thought you hated her.

MARK

I told you, I’m not seeing her!

JERRY

Bullshit. Tell me you’re seeing her.

MARK

Fine, I’m seeing her.

JERRY

You’re an idiot.

MARK

(MARK calls over the waitress. Orders drink.) What the fuck? Why am I an idiot? (to WAITRESS) Hi, sorry, two waters—please.

JERRY

Weren’t you the one bitching to me about how she hurt you and how you’d never talk to her again?

MARK

Yes, but—

JERRY

But nothing. You always do this, bro. Why are you seeing her?

MARK

She makes me feel happy, like, I don’t know, man. She just wanted me to pick her up so we can talk.

JERRY

About what?

MARK

I don’t know. She said something about wanting to spend more time together.

JERRY

And you’re gonna go through with it—again?

MARK

What do you mean again?

JERRY

You’re telling me you just forgot about all the crap she did to you? The lying, the cheating. How she got all your friends to turn their backs against you so she won’t feel lonely. You want to do that again?

MARK

No, you don’t get it. I—

JERRY

Enjoy feeling like shit?

MARK

No, I—

JERRY

Want to be taken advantage of?

MARK

No! I want to—

JERRY

Bitch about her to me when you get back? Complain about how she doesn’t care about you? Tell her you still miss her?

MARK

I don’t know, I—

WAITRESS

You boys ready to order?

JERRY                                                                                                MARK

Bullshit! You do know.                                                   (to WAITRESS) No! I’m still deciding.

JERRY

Why are you seeing her?

MARK

She needs money!

JERRY

Money?! Money for what?

MARK

JERRY

How does she not have money for clothes? She has a job. A great job! Why would she come to you?

MARK

I don’t know, maybe she wants to see if I still care about her. She might have feelings for me again.

JERRY

Are you kidding me? Bro, she screwed your whole life up.

MARK

Yeah, but I owe her for the—

JERRY

You don’t owe her shit! She owes you an apology. She’s always done this to you. She makes you feel like you’re always the one at fault and you constantly fall for it. I don’t know how many times I’ve told you.

MARK

Yeah, well, this time I really do owe her.

JERRY

For what? (MARK remains silent) Why does she need money for clothes?

MARK

I really think I should go. Coming here was a mistake.

JERRY

Stop it. You weren’t forced to come here; you came on your own free will!

MARK

Yeah but—

JERRY

Just tell me what happened. I don’t get why you’re being so defensive. We’ve known each other our whole lives. I want to help you, but—

MARK

Fine! I met someone at the bar the other day. We were talking and having a good time when—

JERRY

Wait! You went to the bar without me? And actually met someone?

MARK

Yes, and—

JERRY

What’s her name?

MARK

Michelle. Anyways—

JERRY

She cute?

MARK

Yes! Don’t you want to hear what happened?

JERRY

Right, yeah. Go on.

MARK

Alright, well I met this girl and we were talking and everything was going great.

JERRY

MARK

I bought her a couple drinks, we both got drunk, and she wanted to go back to my place and—

JERRY

Shut the fuck up!

MARK

Stop doing that!

JERRY

Doing what?

MARK

Interrupting me! You cry when I don’t tell you what’s going on and when I do—

WAITRESS

How about something to eat? What’ll you have?

MARK

(to himself) I can’t catch a fucking break today.

WAITRESS

Did you say breakfast? Yes, we can do that, what would you like?

MARK

(angrily) PANCAKES!

WAITRESS

Bacon?

MARK

Fine!

JERRY

Stop being a dick, dude. She’s just doing her job. (to WAITRESS) Sorry about him. I’m not hungry; I’ll have another water, please.

MARK

What’s wrong with you? You make me stay to eat and you don’t order anything. Why am I not surprised?

JERRY

Chill out. Anyways, continue with your story. Don’t think I forgot about the mess you got yourself into.

MARK

How can I speak when I’m constantly being interrupted?

JERRY

I’m letting you speak. You’re speaking now aren’t you? Just calm down and tell your story.

MARK

Fine. (beat) I turn around and boom! I run into her as we’re about to leave and got whatever she was drinking all over her clothes and bag.

JERRY

Okay, so what?

MARK

She was wearing some really nice clothes and I ruined them. She made me look like an idiot in from of Michelle and now she wants me to get her new clothes.

JERRY

So what happened with Michelle?

MARK

She freaked out and left without me! I didn’t know what to do.

JERRY

You’re not giving her money. That’s stupid, bro.

MARK

Why is that stupid?

JERRY

Why was she standing right behind you? It’s like she knew you’d bump into her the second you went to get up.

MARK

What does it matter? Her clothes are still messed up. I feel bad.

JERRY

You don’t think it’s weird that she was just right behind you as you and Michelle were talking?

MARK

I guess it’s kind of weird.

JERRY

She’s a freak, bro! Who does that?

MARK

I don’t know. (beat) What should I do?

JERRY

Tell her you’re not buying shit for her. Tell her she deserved what happened after all the crap she’s done to you.

MARK

I can’t do that!

JERRY

Why the fuck not? You want me to? I definitely can. In fact, I’d love to.

MARK

Why do you want me to tell her off so bad?

JERRY

Because I’m your friend.

MARK

No, a friend would want me to be happy. Despite the shit she did to me, she made me happy and you always hated that.

JERRY

Ok, so?

MARK

So why do you want me to get rid of her so badly? She never did anything to you. (beat) I bet you’re seeing her! You of all people would do something like that. Pretending to be there for me when in reality, you just want the girl all for yourself.

JERRY

You couldn’t be any more wrong than you are right now.

MARK

Why’s that?

JERRY

She’s not who I’m interested in.

MARK

What are you saying?

JERRY

What do you mean?

MARK

Who are you interested in?

WAITRESS

How are you boys doing?

JERRY                                                                                                            MARK

Great, just great                                                                                              Shitty! Really Shitty

WAITRESS

I’ll come back…

MARK

Tell me who you’re interested in.

JERRY

You, Mark! You! You fucking happy?

MARK

(beat) You’re fucking with me.

JERRY

I’m not. I’ve had feelings for you for a long time. Long before you two were dating.

MARK

No! You’re just joking. You can’t be—gay. I’ve seen you hook up with so many girls when we go out.

JERRY

It was just a show. I didn’t want anyone to know yet.

MARK

Well, since we’re being honest, I always knew you were.

JERRY

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

MARK

You always seemed like you would be. Me and the guys always said that if anyone would be gay, it’d be you.

JERRY

Thanks, asshole. You’ve always had a way with words. Always managing to say the right things to cheer me up.

MARK

You’re welcome. (beat) So what do we do now?

JERRY

I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure everyone’s staring.

MARK

I would too if I heard someone come out in the middle of a restaurant. Kind of random, don’t you think?

JERRY

Should we leave?

MARK

We still have to pay.

JERRY

Damn. (beat) And of course, the one time we need that waitress, she disappears.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s